How do you have lesbian intercourse? We get expected this question all the time from lesbians of all ages who’ven’t had lesbian intercourse and are generally concerned they don’t understand “how.” Really, listen: appreciating gender is not about memorizing 16 roles or knowing the best angle to fuck from, appreciating lesbian sex is actually half-animal half-heart and only hardly ever has it got almost anything to perform along with your rational mind, or intellectual reasoning, or any such thing a person could show or anything you could keep reading the world-wide-web.

And while it’s correct that 1 day you’re going to be more confident and experienced than you will be now, it is also correct that your body came to be focusing on how to possess gender like it was given birth to understanding how for eating. Your first time doesn’t have to-be an issue, some of us never actually keep in mind all of our very first occasions. Alternatively, if you would like that it is an issue, it could be. But eventually every spouse differs — totally, completely, entirely different — from subsequent.
Just what could we reveal, really

Nonetheless — in addition, most of us remember a period whenever lesbian gender felt like fumbling, or improv, attempting to perform a sport we don’t understand, like badminton. Or an activity everybody else believed you should be great at but we weren’t. At the same time, other people recall hopping into bed and instinctually being aware what accomplish from the moment of entry. A lot of us had gender with men within our teenagers and did not bang a female ’til our mid-to-late-twenties, and felt like rookies all over again. So we can understand how you might feel a tiny bit better-knowing a little before taking the dive.

Ladies’ sex, not to mention queer sexuality, is usually disregarded by intercourse ed programs. Although many heteros discover more about gender with each other inside their early kids, lots of lesbians you shouldn’t begin that very early and/or are not peer socialized to the sexual universe like straights are, not to mention which our entire mass media society is actually organized about and enthusiastic about heterosexual sex.

So we’re gonna get back to basics. However, even as we compose this post, our company is slightly worried that people haven’t any fucking idea everything we’re dealing with. We hope to open a dialogue for

commenters to generally share unique stories and experiences as well as for everybody to inquire about questions!


This article (originally written in 2010 and mainly unaltered from that time) centers on lesbian gender between cisgender females, although can also be mostly applicable to sex between any a couple with vulvas, and saturated in fantastic advice for anybody sex with anyone who has a vulva. The vocabulary on this page, unlike most all of our gender content, reflects that largely for SEO reasons. But trans ladies are females and the majority of undoubtedly have lesbian sex, and you will review several of our many suggestions for that during these posts:
How To Have Lesbian Gender With A Trans Woman
F*cking Trans Women
Harnesses for Trans Females

Pre-Game The Lesbian Sex


When you yourself have a vulva and also you wanna know how to make an individual with a vulva feel good, you’ve got the benefit of making use of yourself for an examination subject matter — not that just what pleases you will please your spouse, but it’s a-start. Most likely both you and your showerhead have now been aware of this since childhood, however if you’re new to masturbation or fresh to orgasming, discover
how exactly to masturbate like a champ.
As long as you’re at it,
discover how-to buy a vibrator

Getting a skilled masturbator will allow you to end up being a fruitful lover above all else you could potentially previously perform, previously. Not only will you understand how your lover can kindly you, however you will have some concept of ideas on how to kindly all of them.


Touching yourself along with your denim jeans and undies on (you can unzip your jeans, but don’t draw them down) might be great practice for the date to

Twilight Total Eclipse Of This Sun



When you are stimulated, you might feel hot or flushed. The nipples are certain to get erect, your own clit and vulva will swell due to improved blood supply. Inside your body, the top of the vagina will increase.


Browse the insides. The exterior of everyone’s vulva is actually a fresh continent, although insides are sensibly comparable to the other person, so it is a good sneak peek for those who have one.


If you have one, consider your own vadge inside mirror. I’m sure you are going to check out this and consider “OH MY GOD I MIGHT NEVER” and not do it. Overcome your self. Put
a fucking mirror
betwixt your feet to see the shit!

Understand The Vaginal Condition, For Those Who Have One

Very first circumstances very first: folks usually make use of the phase “vagina” whenever writing about the female vaginal region, which actually isn’t really proper. Best term for your additional vaginal region is actually “vulva.” The pussy is actually within you, hooking up the vulva to the cervix. Here Is
a great post from teenage Vogue that gets into everything about physiology

Now that you’re seated right here with your mirror, let us discuss the physiology of a cisgender woman’s vulva.


Your own clitoris comprises of the glans/head (more sensitive and painful spend 6,000-8,000 nerve endings), the hood (which drapes throughout the glans) additionally the shaft (and is on average 1.9 cm in total). Some clits tend to be bigger than other people, and the majority of women can orgasm from clitoral pleasure.

Labia Majora:

Them end up being your “pussy lips.” Subsequently,
the labia minora
would be the asymmetrical fine retracts of softy spongy erecticle structure around the labia majora. Some labia minoras extend after dark majoras several are put away inside. The length/shape of labia minora/majoras may be the beginning the place you’ll realize that
all women’s vagina looks distinct from another’s


: the vaginal access is actually below your clitoris and urethral beginning (aka in which the pee comes out). Genital structure is actually flexible, you have heard that children leave it and fists can go involved with it. All the neurological endings come into the external 3rd in the vagina (put simply: don’t worry about having tiny fingers, its nbd).

so many different vulvas presented in this vagina artwork by jamie mccatney


Place a finger inside vagina. Now create a “come-hither” movement towards the front wall structure of your own pussy. Do you really believe place with a texture unlike everything else’s texture? It is a sponge towards size of a bean that fills with blood during arousal, straight facing your womb. Some ladies find g-spot pleasure also rigorous, some hate it, some like it, some can orgasm from it, and some can female ejaculate from it.



The dull region within pudendal cleft and anus. Some women find this area intimately sensitive and painful. Slangily described as “the taint” ’cause it is not the genitals and it ain’t the anus.

Brushing for Lesbian Gender


Can help you literally whatever you wish along with your locks, although removing it completely
makes you vulnerable to infections
and it will end up being really itchy! Here Is
some data on your hair removal habits

Tips if you find yourself going to remove some tresses:

  • If you possess the money as well as the time, laser hair removal is the greatest method of getting gone hair in that area for long-term. Its typically asserted that laser hair removal increases results on much lighter skin hues, but
    the good news is which modifying
  • For many people, waxing may be the best/cheapest method to “clean” without ingrowns. Depending on the skin tone and susceptibility, waxing may turn your skin layer a pleasant tone of crimson for everyday, very schedule correctly. We highly recommend getting hired done-by an expert, but if you want to Do-it-yourself, Sally Hansen’s are
    inexpensive and easy for beginners
    and is it kit from
  • In case you are shaving, you have access to crazy serious shaver burn which sometimes appears like countless red-colored bumps throughout your area.
    Bikini Zone can help you using this
  • If you shave a couple of days before starting up, anyone who goes down for you will feel just like these include sticking their unique face into a sheet of sandpaper.


Be sure that nails are because small as it can and smoothly submitted. If you do have long nails or acrylics,
listed here is tips make love properly without sacrificing them
. Maintaining your hands mega-extra-super-duper-clean is key. Play it extra-safe by employing some helpful
latex or nitrile gloves


All of you, your pussy smells perfect just the method it is! Don’t douche or else make an effort to infuse the vagina with fields of marigolds. It will have a stronger smell if you haven’t showered or have obtained truly flushed, and that’s okay. (Sidenote: the lingering odor of their on your fingertips = secret). However, in case your pussy smells therefore pungently fishy that your particular lover can smell it within pants from throughout the room,
you might have BV
and ought to
get see a gynecologist

Performing The Lesbian Intercourse

To be honest, we kinda wouldn’t like you to look at this. We would like one have to find it out for your self, like we did! All of you, it is thus fun and you get to be nude or half-naked with another lady! Appropriate?! Intercourse will be the finest once you stop thinking and leave your system imagine for you!

There are additionally at the very least 1,000 gender ideas we could provide you with throughout your sex life, but now we are gonna stay very






Simply ’cause you’re both women does not mean what feels good for you will feel well to this lady. The two of you can show what is operating and somethingn’t through words, sounds, or actual response. Don’t be embarrassed to inquire about questions or volunteer everything you like. It really is like the Hot/Cold game, but nude and a lot more slick! Claiming “what do you actually like” is completely a thing we would. Thus is chuckling.
We advice countless chuckling

Lesbian Sex Foreplay

There are a lot of circumstances occurring in the torso region for both people to understand more about, like BOOBS and ears, and using those body parts is actually fun AND the best way to get lubed upwards before every variety of drive vaginal get in touch with does occur (if that is what you need). Some people can orgasm from arousal of additional areas of the body in addition to the vadge, as well. (whether it’s your own or your spouse’s first-time being penetrated, do not opt for the
jackhammer screw within 5 minutes of your first language kiss, ease into that crap!)

Manual Clitoral Arousal

This is an excellent place to begin. Fairly self-explanatory. Once again, some people will want the hand to be a dildo several will simply wish to be touched with intense delicacy. Uncover by asking!

Oral gender is so awesome
so it virtually feels as though cheating. Like happened to be mouths meant to go indeed there, or perhaps is that anything humanity identified alone? Per usually, err privately of painful and sensitive. This can either be “teasing” or “how she loves it,” depending on the lady. This will probably even be paired with fucking/g-spot stimulation, but we’re starting simple nowadays, therefore, once more, have some fun. Occasionally for those who have body picture issues, becoming consumed will make you feel actually uncovered. Thus shut your own eyes, things are fine. Also remember to
practice much safer sex with dental dams


While in doubt, begin slow/soft/delicate and construct up to as fast/hard as she desires it. Be Certain That she actually is wet prior to trying penetration —
lube is an excellent method to try this
. After That:

+ begin with your list little finger in only a little bit, after which all the way in after which make another finger if she desires. (After that a third if she wants, etc etc) You should not get too fast, provide her time and energy to reply.

+ watch in which your own various other hands are! If you have your index/middle fingers inside the lady, is the thumbnail looking into the woman internal leg? Look at the crap.

+ Some ladies don’t want to end up being penetrated for a variety of explanations, such as distress, gender identity or gender expression,
and/or an inclination for a particular intimate role
(as with “we screw you, you don’t shag me personally.”) If that is you and your spouse will get because location, politely go the woman hand and inform this lady in which you perform want to be moved (or which you’d rather touch the woman).


Today, keeping your hand down her pants or more her channel might-be your first instinct, or maybe it is what you’ve viewed on

The L Term

, but that is only one of many magical methods ladies screw additional women. You will find 365 how to generally dried out hump (you


keep your undies on with this, it may be simpler, but please carry out remove the top, because that’s more pleasurable). Possible generally rub upon any section of the woman human body or rub vadge-to-vadge literally for the remainder of lifetime.

Much More Resources For Great Lesbian Gender:

The More You Are Aware

  • TRY NOT TO CANNOT compare body parts

    . Compliments are excellent! But resist the urge to include an assessment of one’s own components onto your supplement with regards to the woman parts. ‘Your [part] is really far more [way of being] than mine! Waaah.’ = NO.
  • In case you are handling non-gender-conforming people then it’s far better ask before connecting what is actually fine and what exactly isn’t. Same for coping with sex conforming individuals!
  • You have a right to feel safe and comfy, which means that
    is key and thus is
    less dangerous gender
    — kindly get a check-up and confer with your companion about any STIs you or she might have before jumping into bed.
  • Whether you’re 16 or 36, you aren’t “BEHIND.” Considering the patriarchy, it’ll take you about 15 moments discover information about the typical age at which heterosexual people drop their V-Cards (16-17), but no such investigation exists for lesbians in terms of we can tell. So we’ve done a laid-back study of Team Autostraddle, and is an unhealthy sample populace because we’re all under 35 and certainly “out” enough to end up being


    Group Autostraddle very, we imagine, most likely a lot more intimately seasoned than the normal lesbian bear. Despite, by age and 12 months of “virginity loss”:

Among the totally non-representative trial sized queer women, the typical get older for “our very first time” is 19.4.

Relevant Databases

Body Parts that would be erogenous otherwise no-fly areas:

+ ears

+ throat

+ erect nipples

+ internal legs

+ foot

+ fingers

+ ass

+ small of straight back

People Perform many Men And Women Never:

+ wish to be penetrated

+ orgasm from penetration

+ climax

+ incorporate adult sex toys into gender

+ enjoy g-spot stimulation

+ need hands-on clitorial arousal to climax

+ favor clitorial pleasure AND vaginal penetration to climax

+ appreciate anal entrance or
butt plugs
consuming butt

+ use

+ orgasm anyway

+ identify as

+ fantasize during sex

+ identify as either a ”
” or a ”

+ identify as either “butch” or “femme”

+ wish to be nude while having sex

+ want the lights on during sex

+ think its great rough

have an STI

+ wanna

Issues That Might Happen Very First Some Time And Become Completely Good:

and practically drenching your entire bed (it is not urine, we guarantee) (in addition, its awesome)

+ Farting or queefing

+ unintentionally cutting/lacerating the pussy (
this occurs to old professionals, also
) (

+ Not orgasming

+ not

Getting hurt

+ Tensing upwards while pentrated

+ Bleeding

+ Bleeding from hymen-breakage

+ Post-sex UTIs or yeast-based infections

+ getting 30+ minutes to climax

+ Your supply acquiring exhausted

+ Crying

+ Chuckling

+ Thoughts

+ No emotions

+ maybe not experiencing just like the whole world altered

+ experiencing just like the whole world changed

+ experiencing like you’re on a whole new level of closeness together with your partner

+ maybe not appreciating it

Don’t be also goal-oriented. Many individuals you shouldn’t come the 1st time — lots of people you shouldn’t arrive regularly during sex whatsoever! If neither people would, there’s going to be a moment once you feel you’re accomplished anyway, just like the experience is finished, and that might feel strange, but it is perhaps not unusual, it happens. End when you’d stop any literally tiring task — whenever you you should not feel just like it any longer. Merely laugh and possibly stay nude and hug and talk. Cuddle! Lesbians love to cuddle. Or ask the girl to exhibit you how she becomes by herself off and the other way around — shared masturbation is a great back-up arrange for once you both wanna arrive but can’t apparently get it this time around. And yes it’s hot to view and see just what she does to herself!

the afterglow




The Lesbian Sex Bible

More methods and advice about lesbian, bisexual and queer females that approaches the topic with laughter and irreverence.

Susie Sexpert’s Lesbian Sex Community

: The address of this publication is so strange and 90s, but you can download it for $2.99 from Amazon and it is — it’s just FUN. It is awesome sex-positive and is deserving of being a cult regular of lesbian publication globe beginning today.


The entire Lesbian Gender Book: A Separate Guide for people

, by Felice Newman: The regular. Purchase it, discover it, stay it, like it.


Lesbian Intercourse: 101 Lovemaking Positions

: we gamble that you don’t know any single thing concerning Joyride, Tongue and Groove, Toast Her, Gilding the Lily, Peach Gobbler, Hanky Spanky, female Wrap or Velvet line, perform ya? You could change that.


Moving away from: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation

: From sex blogger and self pleasure expert Jayme Waxman.


The body, Ourselves: Another Edition for a New Period

: Get in touch with your womynhood.


Brand new Lesbian Intercourse Book, 3rd Edition

: Interviews with REAL LIVE LESBIANS about their gender everyday lives, contains the influence of reminding you that there surely is plenty of lesbians nowadays sex and it is not merely your partner(s) inside teeny little town by sea.


Treatment Sex: A Mind-Body Way Of Healing Sexual Trauma

: “the initial motivating, sex-positive tips guide for all females survivors of sexual attack — heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, combined, and unmarried — who want to recover their particular gender lives.”

Internet Sites:


Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

“Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross are a couple of intergenerational intercourse positive feminists whoever discussion on sex and feminism entertains and educates while delving in to the Politics of Women’s sex.” Includes
a collection of “how-to” movies
many different sexual functions, including “first-time lesbian intercourse.”


The-Clitoris Dot Com

“whatever you ever before planned to {know about|learn about|find out about|un
From here: